This post is a follow-up to the previous post.
I got a lot of feedback from the last post. That was rather unexpected–I actually thought people had stopped reading this blog. XD
I’m a little embarrassed about it, because I really did just write that when I was so angry with myself. It has nothing to do with other people or anything–it was really about me being angry at me. (For being bad at Japanese, for being shy about talking to people, etc.)
There are also… other circumstances going on at the moment that might have effected my mood. I’m aware that part of it is probably culture shock.
So there isn’t anything to worry about. Part of the point of this blog is that I want to document what I’m feeling, just to show an accurate portrayal of what it can be like to move to another country like I have.
I was considering deleting that post, actually, because I got so embarrassed by how many people responded… But I think it’s important to look at a post like that and address those kinds of concerns, not just for me but for other people that might be having (or will have) the same problems. It might be comforting for people to know they aren’t alone. And maybe later, when my blog entries aren’t so frustrated, it’ll be proof that what everyone is saying is true: “It gets better.”
So I’ll leave it.
But I’m still really embarrassed. XD Note to self: Don’t write blog entries in extreme moods. (One of the reasons I haven’t posted my Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Day entry… And I probably never will. Sorry.)
I’m not going to give up. I was just feeling frustrated, especially that day. I’m just disappointed that I haven’t gotten any better, even though I was improving a lot when I was taking Japanese classes.
The feedback I’ve gotten about this, though, has been really helpful. A lot of people have told me that this is how they felt about learning Japanese for a long time, too. That’s really reassuring–it means that I’m just at a stage in learning Japanese. Okay, I can deal with that.
On Making Friends
I realize that there is probably more I can be doing to make friends, but then again, we’re talking about me. XD I’m actually rather shy about meeting people… so it’s difficult for me to put myself out there. I’m actually proud of the extent I’ve stepped out of my comfort zone thus far. I guess I just need to step out of it more. Which is really scary.
Again, this is just something I’ll have to work on. And that’s okay. I can do that.
Everyone’s feedback on this point, too, has been really helpful. I’ve gotten people saying they’re going to introduce me to people, and suggestions about talking to some Japanese people I’ve already technically met but haven’t reached out to yet.
I think I’m really just having winter/culture shock issues right now, and that’s what’s making it difficult to… do… anything. Much less step out of my comfort zone.
For the record
I am recontracting with Minamiboso; I’m staying right here for another year. (And probably another year after that, to be honest.) My frustration with ~whatever~ isn’t enough to keep me from staying.
I’m generally happy.
So don’t worry about me. :) I’m just going through a particularly hard time, and I think this time of year is particularly difficult for all ALTs anyway. (I also kind of wonder if maybe that’s the reason I got such a strong response…?)
Seriously, thank you so much
A lot of people commented on the entry and on Facebook, and then today we had an ALT meeting at the Board of Education. Someone brought up “a certain blog entry,” and everyone started talking about the concerns brought up in that “certain blog entry.”
Everyone, thank you so much for your support and advice. Seriously. I just… I don’t even know. I was surprised to get comments at all, and then they’re helpful and supportive comments?
You’re all friggin’ awesome, kind people.